last entry.

its been almost three years.

almost.

i thought,
last night was a dream.
woke up in the morning,
re-read the text,
and realized it's real.

there is always first time in everything.
things happen and end.
plan made,
it's just a plan.
HE knows better.

my final exam is,
just around the corner.
you understand better,
how it feel.
you have your career,
to maintain.
things that you love,
and interested most.
the path are way to long,
but we manage to bind,
almost three year,
almost.

this year,
ramadhan and syawal,
might not be like before,
as you said.
you once told me you would be coming here,
and celebrate together.
i guess its just a dream.

i might don't have
any picture,
written doc,
that might remind the memories.
but,
i think i can remember everything.
this is me right?

we shared things together,
most all of that.
shared friends,
mine are your, yours are mine.
shared ideas and opinion,
(but mine is always the best hehe :p).

i heard ibu want someone Johorian?
might be the best for you.
parents know the best for their daughter.
i'll be their on your wed-day.
i wish i can.

we love travel.
it might be,
the only things that we have in common.
some of the places might remind us,
we made history here and there.
pictures might tell the rest of the story.

i heard that,
you gonna further your study.
great.
it's your dream by the way.
run,
keep running.
the goals waiting there.

my friend always said,
i'm the best in what i do.
you tell me the same thing, once.
manage people,
leading them,
planning,
i can do that even in my sleep.
everything perfectly arrange.

but,
nobody realized,
nobody tell me,
nobody reprove me,
about one thing.
the most important thing.
which is,
to control,
manage, lead, guide,
my own self.
and the worst part is,
i cant even take care of you :)

this might be my last entry,
before i'll be deniable authorization,
from you.
i'll try to make it count.

you once told me,
Apprentice Asia.
good platform,
but maybe some other time.
one day maybe,
one day.

lastly,
send my regard to your family,
tell them i'm sorry.
i let them down,
i failed,
sorry.

i wish,
today is 18 august 2010.